


do you believe in miracles?

by WriterForHire



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Psych Ward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-26 23:30:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1706555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriterForHire/pseuds/WriterForHire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sun shinned in through the windows of the Mental ward in Lawrence, Kansas. The halls were quiet as everyone slept through the sunrise. As usual by this time Dean, Sam, and Adam walked through the wards halls banging on every patients door. </p><p>"Up and at 'em!" Dean shouted, waking everyone up. Sam smirked as he walked over the the windows and pulled up the blinds. </p><p>"Imma start waking you up like that!" He shouted back at him. Dean scoffed. </p><p>"Promise?" He joked, straightening out the tables and chairs in the main hall. Walking up to the nurse's window Dean knocked on it making it rattle. Jo rolled by in a chair and rolled her eyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first multi-chaptered AU!  
> Please leave comments if you can :-) 
> 
> Thank you!!

_"I don’t understand the blind faith you have in the man. I mean, it’s like you don’t even question him."_

_"Yeah, it’s called being a good son!"_

The sun shinned in through the windows of the Mental ward in Lawrence, Kansas. The halls were quiet as everyone slept through the sunrise. As usual by this time Dean, Sam, and Adam walked through the wards halls banging on every patients door. 

"Up and at 'em!" Dean shouted, waking everyone up. Sam smirked as he walked over the the windows and pulled up the blinds. 

"Imma start waking you up like that!" He shouted back at him. Dean scoffed. 

"Promise?" He joked, straightening out the tables and chairs in the main hall. Walking up to the nurse's window Dean knocked on it making it rattle. Jo rolled by in a chair and rolled her eyes. 

"What can I do for ya, Winchester?" She asked through the glass. Dean smirked and parted his lips to speak but stopped. 

"We got a problem over here!" Adam shouted, his voice echoing through the hall. 

"Alright!" Dean and Sam shouted in unison. Jo raised her brows waiting for his response. 

"Guess I'll hold that thought, huh?" She asked. Dean smirked and gave her a subtle wink before walking away. 

Down the hall he heard mutters coming through one of the rooms. 

"Guys?" He shouted, looking through each room. 

"Ruby's room!" Sam shouted from the end of the hall. Dean ran down the hall and slowed down as he came up to her room. Looking in he saw her standing with her hands held behind her by Sam. 

"What's going on here?" He asked seriously. Sam and Adam exchanged looks and Adam reached under her mattress and pulled out a small bag of pills. 

"There's about three weeks of pills in here," Adam said handing it to Dean. 

"Alright, I'll let Jo know," he said and shot Ruby a glance. She smiled at him and winked. 

"Oh come on Dean," she flirted. 

"Get dressed gathering starts in ten," he said. He gave Sam a nod and he let go of her, letting her stumble forward. 

"Easy, you fucking ass," she said rubbing her wrists. Sam scoffed and walked out with Adam. Dean waited as they left and looked out the room to see if they were around before he turned back to Ruby. 

"If I catch you doing anything like this again I'm taking you to solitary," he said quietly yet his voice was stern. Ruby groaned. "Yeah alright," she said. 

Dean made his way back down the hall to the main room. Passing by each room making sure everyone was up and ready. Hearing mumbling coming from one of the rooms he leaned into it and smirked. 

"Come on Anna, gathering's in five minutes," he said softly. Titling her head in his direction she frowned and shook her head. 

"No, no, no the angels, the apocalypse. It's all true," she said quietly. Dean sighed and walked into her room. Leaning against the wall he crossed his arms over his chest. 

"I can promise you that you'll be safe in the main hall. Come on," he said with a smile. 

Anna glanced up at him in silence. Dean dropped his arms to his side and stuffed one hand into his pant pocket waiting for her to get up. She signed and stood up. Dean smiled and patted her back. "Alright, that's a good girl," he said and made his way out to the main hall. 

Walking up to the line of patients forming for their daily meds. Dean made his way to the front of the line and pushed past one of the patients. 

"Hey!" He shouted. "Just give me a minute!" He shouted back and knocked on the now open window. Jo peeked her head out and sighed. 

"What's up, Dean?" She asked. Dean leaned over the counter his face close to Jo's. She blushed. 

"Make sure Ruby takes her pills, alright?" He said. His voice floating around her. 

"Yeah, uh sure," she said flustered. He nodded and pulled his head out of the window and turned around to walk away. "Oh, Dean we're getting a new patient!" She called out to him. Dean stopped and turned back to her. 

"Oh? When?" He asked. Jo pulled out a file of papers and handed it to him. 

"Tomorrow, here's his info," she said as he took the file. 

"Ah, okay thanks, Jo," he said as he read through the file. Jo nodded. 

"Uh huh, anytime," she said and continued to hand out pills. 

Dean walked into the main hall and sat in one of the chairs beside Sam. 

"So we're getting a new patient tomorrow," he said tossing the file to Sam. Fumbling with the file to hold it. 

"Yeah I heard about him. Some guy named Castiel, right?" He asked. Dean shrugged. 

"Yeah, but I looked through it. He doesn't need to be here," he said. Sam furrowed his brows. 

"Huh? What do you mean?" He asked opening the file. 

"There's nothing wrong with him. His family just doesn't want him around anymore," he said frustrated. Sam glanced up at him and scoffed. "What?" Dean asked. 

"Nothing," he said shaking his head. Dean sat up. 

"No, what come on?" he asked. Sam sighed and sat forward. 

"Its like you and dad all over again," he said quietly. 

Dean swallowed hard trying to get the knot down his throat but only felt it tighten more. Trying to talk his voice came out weak and quiet. 

"What are you talking about, man?" Sam rolled his eyes and threw the file onto the table. 

"Never mind. It doesn't matter," he said getting up. 

Dean scoffed and grabbed the folder off the table just as a patient sat down in Sam's place. Dean forced a smile at him and went back to the file. Flipping through it he read the patients description. 

Castiel Novak  
Age 28  
Height 6'  
Weight 160lbs

Dean signed and closed the file unable to finish reading. Seeing too much of himself in Cas he knew he couldn't possible deal with him as one of his patients. Getting up he walked back to Jo's window and knocked on it repeatedly until she answered. 

"What, what is it?" She asked panicked. 

Dean threw the file on the counter and shook his head. 

"I can't have him as one of my patients. I can't do it Jo, don't ask why just please," he stammered. 

 

"He's your patient, I can't bend the rules for you," she said calmly. 

 

Dean swallowed his words and let them close up his throat. Jo watched him walk away and closed the window placing the file under her desk. 

 

The day had passed and each patient had been sent back to their rooms. Dean and Sam had taken the night shifts while Adam went home. 

"A'right guys I'm off," he said grabbing his jacket off its hook. 

Dean glanced up at him through the chairs he stacked on the tables and Sam turned around in his chair. 

"See ya!" They called as he walked out. Letting the door close behind him. 

Dean sighed and leaned against the table tightening his grip around one of the chair legs. Sam walked up behind him and patted him on the back, making him jerk up. 

"Hey, I'm gonna start my rounds. Get some rest," he said softly. 

Dean nodded at him and released his grip on the chair. He took it down off the table, placed it quietly on the floor and sloutched down in it. His face in his hands he let out a tired groan then sighed. 

The name ran through his mind and all his information. Castiel Novak. Was all he could think about and how much he couldn't bare to even try to take care of him tomorrow. Dean knew how much Castiel wasn't meant to be there even before he had arrived. He couldn't do it. Shaking his head he tried to clear it but it only brought on a headache. Sighing, he got up and walked over to the nurse's window. 

"Jo, you still in?" He called knocking softly on the window. 

No one answered so he reached into his pocket and dug out a set of keys. Looking for the right one he pushed it into the lock on the side of the window frame and turned it. 

Pulling himself over the counter he looked around for the bottle of medication they give to the patients to help them go to sleep. Rummaging through the desk he knocked something over with his elbow and turned around to see what it was. Pushing himself out of the window he stood up and reached over the counter and grabbed the bottle he knocked over. 

Bringing it into the light he read he label and he grinned, flicked the top open and poured out two pills into his hand. Tilting his head back he tossed them in his mouth and swallowed them down. 

Placing the bottle back over the counter he made his way to the couch and laid down. Listening to the roar of the heater down the hall he closed his eyes and slowly drifted off


	2. Chapter 2

_"I'll watch over you"_

Jo walked up to the couch in the main room and nudged Dean who, was still asleep.

"Get up, Winchester!" She tried nudging him back and forth. Groaning Dean let his arm swing around in the open air as he spoke.

"Five more minutes." Jo sighed and pulled him off the couch. Landing with a loud thunder, Dean gasped. "Jesus!" He breathed.

"New patient will be here soon" Jo said walking back to her office. Dean lifted his head and watched as she walked away. As the she opened the door and let it swing shut he let his head fall, hitting the ground.

"Fuck" he grumbled as he hoisted himself up on his elbows. Letting out a painfully dramatic sigh he stood up and made his way to Jo's window.

Knocking on the glass rapidly making ratle. It was a surprise it didn't break under all that force Dean was putting on it. Jo turned around and glared at him as she spoke through the glass.

"Deal with it Dean. You chose this job so you gotta stick to it."

"But–"

"Sorry," She said and turned around. Ignoring Dean's attempt to persuade her into changing patients with another staff member.

Raged, Dean balled his hand into a fist and punched the wall beside the window. One of the patients standing by had noticed Dean's anger and decided to mock him.

"Hey everyone look at me! I'm Dean Winchester and I think I'm so tough and mighty!" he hollered into the silence of the room.

Dean hissed out air through clenched teeth and darted toward him, pushing him against the wall. One arm under his chin holding him back and the other hold his arm down.

At this point all the other patients had gathered around them chanting in unison. "Fight! Fight! Fight!" Just as Sam and Adam arrived to quiet them down as Dean spoke.

"You wanna mock someone, Gabriel? Go right ahead," he hissed at him.

"Oh come on! Get off of me man. I was just messing around! You don't gotta get all touchy feely," he replied pushing Dean off him and dusting off his shirt.

Adam took hold of Gabriel's arm and dragged him out of the main hall. While Sam pulled Dean to the side.

"What's up with you?" He asked annoyed. Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Even if I told you, you wouldn't get it," he said. His voice calmer than his actions. Sam scoffed.

"Try me." Dean glanced at him and sighed.

"Look this has nothing to do with you," he paused as he saw the front doors open behind Sam. Walking into the ward stood a tall man with dark hair and a dusty old trench coat over his clothes. Dean's eyes widened as he tried ducking in front of Sam. "Crap," he whispered.

"If it involves dad then–"

"Just shut up will you?!" Sam stood taken aback and noticed Dean's eyes somewhere else.

Turning around to see who he was looking at, Sam noticed their new patient had arrived and he scoffed. Knowing this was probably killing Dean, he stepped to the side, letting Dean in perfect view from where Castiel was standing. Spotting Dean, Cas walked up to him. Dean straightened up his posture and cleared his throat trying to act natural, which he obviously wasn't.

"Hello," Castiel started quietly, "I'm looking for a 'Dean Winchester'. Is he around?" He asked. Dean let out a sigh and glanced up at him giving out his hand.

"That'll be me," he said waiting for him to shake it only to have him blankly stare down at it as if it were unknown to him. Dean stood almost embarrased and cleared his throat as he took his hand back.  
"I guess I'll show you 'round then?" He said. Castiel forced a soft grin at him and nodded.

"I'd appreciate that. Thank you," he said kindly.

Dean smiled back at him and lead him towards Jo's counter.

"Here is where you'll be getting your meds from," he started as he tapped on the glass. Jo glanced up and shook her head annoyed. Dean smirked. "And that's Jo. She's the nurse here. Of course we all have our proper training in first aid, but let's face it, she's much prettier than us guys," he said giving a sublte wink to Castiel who smiled shyly back at him.

Continuing through the ward, Dean walked into the middle of the main hall and gestured around himself. "This is the main hall or main room, which ever you prefer. Patients come here to relax through out the day, watch some television, read a book, etcetera," he said flagging his hand about.

Castiel looked around and started toward one of the patients.

"Whoa, hey, where do you think you're going?" Dean asked grabbing his arm.

"I just thought I'd get to know some of them," he said innocently. Dean bit his tongue and released his grip.

"Alright," he said.

Castiel walked up to one of the patients. A short women with dark hair. Castiel tapped on her shoulder and she spun herself around.

"Can I help you?" She asked. Her voice slow and hypnotizing.

Castiel smiled.

"Hi, I'm Castiel Novak," he said confidently.

"So?" She asked.

Castiel swallowed hard.

"What's your name?" He asked trying to start conversation.

She grinned and placed one hand on his chest.

"The name's Meg Masters, but it can be whatever you want it to be," she whispered softly.

Dean watches from the centre of the room and noticed Meg touching Castiel.

"Hey!" He shouted and made his way over to them. Pushing her off him and standing between them. Castiel stood flustered and a bit red in the face.

"You need to learn how to share, Dean."

"Yeah, right after you learn how to follow the rules, Meg!" he raised his voice then turned to Castiel. "Did she hurt you?" He asked concerned.

Castiel's brows furrowed as he spoke.

"No," he said almost questioning it.

Castiel thought nothing of what Meg had done to him. It was just a touch, a simple graze across the chest. He thought it was kind of nice to be touched in that way considering no one had ever touched him like that before.

Dean placed a hand on his shoulder and lead him out of the main room and down the hall where all the rooms were located. Dean gestured towards the room at the very end of the hall on the left.

"That's gonna be your room," he said as he pointed to it.

Castiel forced a smile and nodded as they passed a room with a padlock on the front.

"What's in there?" He asked studying the room as if he could see through it.

Dean bit his lip.

"Nothing important. Come on," he said trying to lure Castiel away.

Castiel watched as Dean made his way down the hall and decided to follow him, but he still pondered at the idea of the possibilities behind that door.

Dean stood in front of the closed door and stuffed a hand down his front pocket, fishing out a set of keys. Castiel let out a snort-like laugh and covered his mouth.

"What's so funny?" Dean asked.

"How are you possibly going to find the right key?" He asked.

Dean grinned at him and grabbed one key and pushed it into the lock. Castiel raised his brows at him and insisted he continued. Turning the key to the right he unlocked the door and pushed it open.

"You were saying?" he said smugly.

Castiel ignored him and pushed past him to look around. Except, there wasn't much to look at. A small single bed stood in the corner of the room against the wall, a small lamp was set on a night stand at the side of the bed, and a closet was up against the opposite wall. It was perfect.

"Its..." He paused, "...wonderful. Thank you."

Dean blinked as if he had just heard a foreign language.

"Um...alright, well I'm glad you like it," he said a bit perplexed then noticed Castiel hadn't brought any language or bags with him.

"Did you bring any baggage with you?" He asked. Castiel shook his head.

"No, I was told you would supply clothes."

Dean cleared his throat.

"Right, that's only for the night. If your clothes get dirty you gotta wear something else. We can't have dirty patients walking around in here like its some kinda pig sty," he said with a soft laugh.

Castiel stood stifly and forced a grin.

"I guess I'll have to be careful then," he said trying to joke around.

Dean smiled at him and reached for the keys still hanging on the lock.

"I guess I'll just leave you to it. If you need anything just ask one of us, we'll make you feel at home here, alright?" He said trying to reasure him.

Castiel frowned.

"Um," he hesitated.

"Yeah?"

"I don't want to feel at home. I want it to be different here," he said his voice shaking.

Dean parted his lips to answer him then realized just how much he didn't know about Castiel's home life, he didn't know exactly how badly they treated him.

"You'll be fine here. I promise." he said as he walked out. Closing the door behind him.

Dean made his way back to the main room to watch over the rest of the patients. Sam stood by one of the windows with his arms crossed talking to Adam about something.

"Hey Dean!" A voice called from behind him.

Dean spun around and saw Kevin making his way over to him. Kevin was the wards janitor. Everyone favoured him.

"Hey Kev! How's my favourite janitor?" He said wrapping an arm around him.

Kevin grinned.

"I'm the only janitor in this ward. Of course I'm your favourite!" He said.

Dean chuckled and took his arm back.

"You always gotta ruin a good moment man," he said nudging him away.

Kevin stumbled over a bit and shook his head.

"Guess so," he said. Dean scoffed and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest and starring past Kevin. Down the hall. Kevin cleared his throat. "So how's that new patient?" He asked.

"Huh?" Dean blinked and shook his head trying to regain focus. "Oh right, he's something, I'll tell ya that," he said.

Kevin scoffed.

"Right, he seems pretty um–"

"Normal?"

"Yeah"

"I know, but as long as he's here I gotta look after him, but he ain't so bad," Dean said almost flustered.

Kevin started talking but Dean had blocked him out. Too busy focusing on Castiel and why he was really here, what the whole point of this was. All he wanted to do was learn more about him, he didn't know why, but he knew he had to.


	3. Chapter 3

_"Pick one"_

_"Sam"_

 

Dean stormed up to Jo's desk and frantically knocked on the glass as he called out for her. "Jo!" She rolled over in her chair and rolled her eyes as she opened the window. 

"What do you want Dean?" 

"I need Cas' file," he said. 

"I gave you that file already." 

"Right, not that one," he paused, "the one about his family and all that crap." 

Jo scoffed. 

"Do you even read the files Dean?" She asked. 

He glanced to the side and tried looking for his words. 

"Well, most of the time, but I read his file and it had nothing about his family other than the fact that he had 'a bad home life'" he said. Jo shrugged. 

"Can't help you then. Sorry," she said. 

Dean slammed his hand down on the counter and turned around to see Cas standing behind him frozen in fear. His face softened, "Cas, sorry I didn't mean to scare you, you alright?" He asked concerned. Cas didn't answer. Dean went to place a hand on his shoulder, but just as his hand touched him Cas flinched away. "Cas?" He said trying to grab his attention. Cas glanced up at him and shook his head. 

"Sorry, I should go," he said and turned around to leave. 

Dean blinked confused as he watched him walk away. He'd seen that kind of behaviour before in someone else. In himself. 

"Thanks anyway Jo," he said before making his way back down the hallway. 

Flashbacks of his childhood ran through his mind as he walked. He tried shaking them away, but they just kept pouring in. He fell against the wall and tried to focus on one thing, Cas' room, but that lead to more flashbacks and he felt his legs give out. "Fuck," he mumbled as he sat on the floor and closed his eyes as his fathers voice pounded through his head. 

"Dean, come here right now!" He yelled as his words slurred together. Dean ran through the house and stood in front of his father. 

"Yes, sir?" He asked his voice shaking. John stood with a cigarette in his mouth and took it out of his mouth. 

"What did I tell you to do before I left?" He asked blowing smoke in his face. 

"Take care of Sam," he said coughing. 

"Do you know where I found Sam when I came home?" He asked raising his voice. Dean flinched and tried looking for his words. 

"I-I-um" 

John took the cigarette out of his mouth, pulled Dean towards him and put out the cigarette on his arm. 

All the pain rushed back to him and he felt his heart jump into his throat. Sam walked by and saw him sitting on he floor. Rushing over he placed both hands in his shoulders. 

"Dean?" 

"Sam," his voice came out sharp as he tried to breathe. 

Sam swallowed hard trying to help him up. 

"Come on, up on your feet, that's it," he said holding him around his waist and helping him towards the couch. 

Dean inhaled sharply as he sat down. 

"Water," he said forming a cup with his hand and gesturing to his mouth. 

Sam nodded. 

"Adam get me some water!" He shouted. 

"Alright" he said as he hurried down the hall. 

Dean's vision blurred as he tried to focus on Sam who sat kneeled in front of him looking worried. 

"Dean, hey, what's wrong?" He asked trying to keep Dean focused. 

Adam came up behind Sam and handed him a glass of water. 

"Here," he said. 

Sam turned around. 

"Thanks," he paused taking the glass," here," he continued handing it to Dean. 

"No, no," he pushed the glass away. 

"What?" 

"I gotta talk to you." 

Sam signed. 

"Drink first then we'll talk," he said and handed him the water again. 

Dean scoffed as he took it from him and brought it to his lips. 

"You're a real pain in the ass, you know that?" He said before taking a sip. 

Sam smirked. 

 

Dean sat up and placed the glass on the coffee table behind Sam. Patients walked by wanting to know what happened. "He's fine, everyone just mind your business," Sam said trying to ward people away. 

Dean placed his head in his hands and sighed heavily. Sam didn't know about the abuse, he didn't know how much this really had to do with him. Dean felt his throat close up and he tried to clear it away. Sam glanced over at him and tapped him on the arm. 

"Hey, what did you wanna talk about?" He asked. 

Dean turned his head to the side so he could face him and pursed his lips before standing up. 

"Let's go outside," he said. 

"What?" 

"Let's talk outside, is that so hard to understand?" He asked sternly. 

Sam rolled his eyes and followed him out. 

 

Dean pushed the door open and allowed Sam to step out first before following him. Sam stood by the front steps with his hands stuffed in his pockets. Dean closed the door behind them and stood with his arms crossed against the door. 

"So?" Sam asked agitated. 

Dean gnawed on the inside of his cheek trying to find the right way to word it. 

"You know how dad and I never saw eye to eye, right?" 

Sam nodded. 

"Yeah, why?" He asked. 

"Well," he paused, "there's more to it that you don't know," he said feeling his words choke out. 

"What are you talking about, man?" 

"Dad used to uh, he used to abuse me," the words stung him as he spoke. 

Sam felt the air knock out of him and he inhaled sharply trying to steady himself. 

"Dean I..." he said unable to form a proper sentence. He started to look back through their childhood remembering all the scars and marks he'd seen on Dean. Remembering all the times he asked about them and all the times Dean lied about them, saying be had fallen or knocked into a door. "All those times I asked...all those marks. They were from dad?" He asked feeling deceived and lied to. 

Dean scoffed and nodded. 

"Yeah, that son of a bitch treated me like a piece of crap and now...now I look at Cas and I just..." His voice broke off as he choked up. 

He ran his hand over his face trying to hold back the tears. Sam sighed and walked over the him. 

"Come here," he said and pulled him in and hugged him. 

"I saw the way Cas flinched when I hit the counter. I know what that's like," he mumbled into Sam's shoulder. 

Sam pulled away from him. 

"Maybe you should talk to Cas, you know? Get to know him a bit better, try to connect with him," he said. 

Dean nodded. 

"Yeah, yeah you're right," he said and reached for the door handle. 

"Was I the reason dad...you know," Sam asked. 

Dean inhaled and breathed out through clenched teeth. 

"You were never the reason," he said without looking back at him. 

Dean walked into the ward and let the door swing closed behind him. The patients were getting in line for their medication and Dean scanned through them looking for Cas. He saw everyone except him. He walked up to the end of the line where Anna stood mumbling to herself. 

"Hey, have you seen Cas around?" He asked her softly. 

She turned to him and shook her head and continued to mumble about the apocalypse. Dean ignored her and moved up the line to where Meg was standing. Arms crossed over her chest. 

"Meg, have you seen Cas?" He asked. 

She glanced at him and scoffed. 

"Maybe, why?" 

"Look I just need to talk to him. Have you seen him or not?" He asked sternly. 

"No, I haven't," she hissed. 

Dean groaned and glanced around the room before heading down the hall way. He ran passed each room carefully looking inside. Passing Cas' room he noticed the door was closed. He slowed down and walked back to his door. Standing nervously for a bit he hesitated to knock not knowing exactly how he'd speak to him. He passed his hand over his mouth and took a deep breath in as he knocked. 

"Cas you in there?" He called out trying to sound as calm as he could even though he could hardly feel his legs. Not getting a reply Dean grabbed the door knob, turned it carefully and pushed the door open. 

Sitting behind the door Cas sat on the floor staring out the window. Dean let his body relax, relieved that he was okay. 

"You should be lining up," he said. Cas shrugged. 

"I don't need medication. I'm not crazy, Dean," he said his voice smooth and crisp. Dean chuckled. 

"If you're not crazy then why are you here?" He asked leaning against the doorway. 

"Its complicated," he said. Dean shrugged and walked over to his side. 

"I have all night." he said as he sat down beside him.


	4. Chapter 4

_"Good things do happen,"_

Dean sat with his legs crossed on the floor beside Cas. They sat in silence for a bit waiting for the other to break it. Cas pulled himself up and walked over to the door. Dean sighed. 

"Cas wait," he said and pulled himself up. 

Cas grabbed hold of the door knob, turned it and closed the door slowly so it wouldn't bang against the frame. 

Dean's eyes glanced up as he heard the silence of the door close and he spun around. He pursed his lips confused and Cas grinned at him. 

"Now we can talk," he said. Dean exhaled and smiled at him. 

"Alright," he started, glancing from Cas to the walls of the room, "what are you doing here?" He asked. Cas shrugged. 

"I already told you. Its complicated." 

Dean smirked and shook his head. 

"You're so fucking stubborn, you know that?" 

Cas glanced up at him and let his hand fall off the doorknob as he walked over to him. Standing only inches away from him. 

"What about you?" He asked. Dean felt his throat tighten up as he tried to speak. 

"I'm not stubborn" He croaked. Cas chuckled and turned away. "What?" Dean asked perplexed. 

"Nothing," he said. 

"No, what is it?" 

Cas sighed and turned to look at him. 

"I know you were talking to Jo about me earlier today." 

Dean leaned against the windowsill and crossed his arms over his chest. 

"Yeah, I was asking her about you. Is that a problem?" He asked. Cas felt his face turn red and turned away. 

"What about me?" He asked curious now. 

Dean smirked and walked over to him. 

"You're blushing, you know that?" he said. Which only made him blush more. 

Cas swallowed hard and glanced up at him. 

"It–its just really..." He paused as their eyes met and his knees almost give out, "...hot in here," he breathed. 

Dean cleared his throat and looked down. 

"Wanna go somewhere else?" He asked. Cas nodded feeling his heart jump into his throat. 

Dean reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys making his way past Cas and to the door. He carefully turned the knob and opened it. Poking his head through enough space so he could look up and down the hallway, making sure no one was around he let the door open completely and waved Cas over as he walked out and down the hall. Cas followed frantically behind him. "Close your door," Dean whispered to him. Cas nodded and quietly closed his door. 

Walking down the hallway Dean stopped at the locked door they had passed earlier that day. Cas caught up to him and frowned confused at the door. 

"Dean we're going to get caught," he said worried glancing around. Dean sighed. 

"As long as you're with me you won't get in trouble," he said as he unlocked the padlock around the door handles and pulled it off. 

Cas felt his heart race and he clutched onto Dean's side. Dean bit his lip and opened the doors revealing the open room in front of them. Cas held his breath and walked in first passed Dean. 

The room had tables arranged on either side with chairs stacked on top and enough room in the centre for another table. A book shelf stood against the far wall with game boards stacked to the top. Some fallen over spilling their contents along the bottom of the shelf. 

Cas stood in awe as if Dean had just opened the doors to heaven for him. He stood in the centre of the room and spun around taking it all in first hand. Dean laughed quietly to himself as he closed the doors behind them and stuffing the keys back into his pocket. 

"I take it you like it," he said smiling at him. 

"Why do you keep it locked up?" He asked his voice echoing through the room. 

Dean shrugged as he made his way over to one of the tables on the right. 

"It used to be open, before..." He paused dramatically to pull down a chair and place it on the floor, "the incident," he continued as he slumped down into his chair. 

Cas froze and turned to him. 

"What incident?" He asked curious. Dean shook his head. 

"Nah, I shouldn't tell ya. Might drive you crazy," he teased. 

Cas frowned and walked over to the table. 

"What happened?" He asked sternly. Dean grinned up at him and forced a laugh. 

"You're so gulible man. Nothing happened," he said nonchalantly. 

Cas pulled down a chair and sat down. Dean leaned back into his seat and studied Cas sitting across him. Slouched in his seat, uncomfortable, on edge. 

Dean titled his head back and let it hung over the back of the chair. "So what's your story, huh?" He asked. Cas exhaled. 

"Why are you so interested in me?" He asked. Dean pulled himself upright and positioned his elbows on his knees, using his hands as he spoke. 

"You're me," he said gesturing towards himself. Cas scoffed. 

"Yeah, right," he said unable to believe a word he said. Dean leaned into his hand and spoke into it, muffling his voice. 

"I know how they treat you." He said. Cas felt his whole body tense up as if he'd just been struck. 

"Dean, I don't know what youre talking about," he said his voice shaking. Dean sighed and stood up. 

"No?" He asked. Cas shook his head. Dean chuckled and brought his hand down beside Cas hitting the table with a loud smack. Cas jumped back and fell out of his seat. 

Dean stood in front of him and gave him his hand. "Come on, get up," he said. Cas shook his head too shaken up. Dean kneeled down and grabbed hold of his arms carefully. "I'm not gonna hit you, come on," he said softly. Cas pulled his arms away trying to get out of Dean's grip. 

"Let go!" He said his voice echoing through the room louder than normal. 

Dean released his grip around his arms and stood up, backing into the table. 

"I just wanna help you," he said. Cas pulled his shirt sleeve down around his hands and pushed himself up. 

"I don't need help," he groaned. Dean sighed. 

"Let me help you, come on," he said and walked over to him. 

Cas stepped back tripping over his chair. Dean reached out and grabbed him by the waist before he fell over. Cas winced as Dean grabbed him and pushed him away. 

"Don't...don't," he stammered. Dean let his arms fall to his side. 

"I didn't mean to hurt you," he said feeling guilty. Cas shook his head. 

"It wasn't you, just..." He paused. 

Dean moved forward slowly and placed his hands gently on either side of Cas' waist. 

"Just relax," he started trying to steady him. 

Cas felt his breath catch in his throat as he felt Dean's touch against him. Inhaling he tried to calm down. 

Dean nodded. "Good, see, you're safe," he breathed. 

Cas felt a chill run down his spine and he so badly wanted to stay like this all night, just here, with him. 

"Dean, um, I..." He paused as Dean leaned down into him and tilted his head up. 

Cas felt his heart jump out of his chest unable to control himself. 

"Just let me take care of you, Cas," he muttered into him. 

Cas breathed out and nodded, titling his head up trying to hook onto Dean's lips. Dean smiled and moved down into him letting their lips lock. He ran his hand up the back of Cas' shirt and let them rest on the small of his back, pulling him into him. Cas winced and pulled away, catching his breath. 

Dean bit his lip and ran a hand across his mouth. "Fuck, Cas, I'm so sorry, did I hurt you?" He asked worried. Cas shook his head. 

"No, no, no it wasn't you, you were..." He paused and turned to him, "...really good," he blushed. 

Dean smiled, still worried. 

"Let me see your back," he said. Cas frowned and shook his head. "I need to see how bad it is, please?" He begged. Cas sighed. 

"Alright," he said and turned around and lifted off his shirt. 

Dean stood closer placing his hands against Cas' waist trying to position him in the moon light. The warmth of Dean's finger tips ran through Cas and he held his breath. Dean let his eyes scan from the small of his back up to his shoulder blades. He let his hands run up over the bruises and marks, carefully grazing over them. They arranged from purple to green to yellow, some fresh, others old; healing. Dean felt a knot form in his throat as he passed his fingers over them. 

"When was the last time?" He asked. Cas shrugged. 

"Before I came here," his voice weak. 

Dean let his hands fall to either side of Cas' waist and slowly turned him around. 

"Listen to me," he started softly, "I'm going to make sure no one hurts you like that ever again," he said and placed a hand against his cheek. Cas smiled and leaned into it. 

"Why are you so interested in me, Dean?" He asked. Dean shrugged and let his hand fall onto Cas' chest. 

"I guess I just know what you've been through," he said. Cas' brows furrowed forward confused and curious. 

"Who did it?" He asked concerned. Dean sighed and shut his eyes. 

"My dad," he breathed weakly. Cas frowned and lead into him. Hooking his lips onto his and pushing him back onto the table. Dean grinned and pulled away. 

"What was that?" He asked flustered. 

"Just go with it," he breathed leaning back into him. 

Dean smiled as he felt Cas' lips on his again and he melted into him. Letting his hands wander up his body he felt every inch of him under his fingertips spark up as they grazed over his body. Cas winced. 

"Sorry," he breathed pulling away. Cas shook his head and pawed at his shirt. 

"No, no, its worth it," he slurred and pulled Dean back in quickly, sinking into him.


	5. Chapter 5

_"He has this weakness. He likes you"_

The next morning Cas woke up in his room staring up at the ceiling fan as he thought about the night before. Grinning, he rolled over and buried his face into his pillow as he thought about Dean's touch against him just when a knock came at the door. "Up and at 'em!" Sam's voice echoed through the halls. Cas sprung up and slipped into his shoes. He stood up and felt his back spasm with pain. Groaning he sat down and rolled up the back of his shirt. He tried bending his head to see the bruises on his back, as Sam walked in.

"Cas, It's time to get up," he said and glanced at him.

Cas fumbled with his shirt and stood up. Sam stood in the doorway, brows furrowed and cleared his throat. "Everyone's getting their meds. You should go line up, alright?" Cas nodded and brushed passed him.

Sam watched him walk down the hall and caught sight of Dean coming up the hall. He closed Cas' door, made his way down the hall and pulled Dean to the side.

"Whoa, hey," Dean said.

"Yeah, listen, I walked into Cas' room and he had these marks on his back, bruises," he paused. Dean sighed.

"I know," he said.

"Wait, you know?" He asked. Dean nodded.  
"Yeah, I uh read his files," he lied. Sam scoffed.

"Since when do you read patient files?"

"Hey, I read them...most of the time," he said. Sam glanced at the line of patients and back at Dean.

"So you know we can't keep him here, right?" He asked. Dean's face flushed and he felt the air knock out of him as he searched for words.

"Why, why," he cleared his throat, "why can't we keep him here exactly?" He asked.

"Unless the patient has signs of a mental condition, we're not eligible to watch over them," He said. Dean felt a knot form in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't send Cas back to his family, he couldn't do it, not after last night.

"I'll watch over him," he insisted. Sam shook his head.

"Dean, you can't–"

"I said, I'll watch over him. No one has to know, alright?" he said and turned away. Sam sighed and watched him walk up to the front of the line before turning away.

Dean pushed past the patients in line and grinned up at Jo who sighed and closed her window. Dean frowned.

"Come on, Jo! I need a patient's file!" He said loudly.

"Who's?" She asked through the pane of glass.

"Castiel's," he hushed.

Cas stood tense in line and tried ducking down behind a patient standing in front of him. Jo rolled her eyes and pulled out a file and slid it under the window. Dean grabbed it and turned down the hallway. Passing Cas on his way he shot a glance at him and Cas smiled softly.

Turning the corner Dean flipped open the file and skimmed through it. He flipped through the pages and his eyes stopped over the heading "Mental Condition". He held his breath and read on.

"The patient, Castiel Novak, has been emitted to this facility due to how he was treated in his household. He is to be given to the caretaker, Dean Winchester, who is to watch over him and make sure he goes through proper recovery."

Dean felt a knot form in his throat and turned back down the hall. He made his way into the main hall and walked up to Cas who was sitting on the couch watching a documentary on religion. Dean glanced at the TV and scoffed.

"Mr Novak, can I see you in private?" He asked. Cas glanced up at him and nodded.

"Okay," he said and followed him down the hall.

Dean turned the corner away from the rest if the patients and faced him. Cas stood a few steps away from him quiet as Dean huffed and puffed.

"Did I do something wrong?" Cas asked. Dean stopped and looked at him with soft eyes.

"No, no of course not," he said moving closer to him and intertwining his fingers with Cas', "it's just, you're not eligible to be here and if the ward's director finds out then..." He paused and swallowed hard. Cas frowned.

"Then what?" He asked. Dean sighed.

"They're gonna kick you out and I can't–I can't let them do that. I don't know what to do, Cas. What do I do?" He begged quietly. Cas ran his thumb back and forth over Dean's hand as he spoke.

"Its okay, its okay I'll fix it," he said. Dean inhaled deeply and cleared his throat.

 

"How could you possibly do that?" He asked. Cas shrugged.

"Don't worry about it," he muttered.

Dean nodded and wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling him closer into him. Cas stood tense and raised his arms slowly around Dean's waist, sinking into his warmth.

"Come by my room tonight," he muffled into him. Dean grinned and turned into his neck, pressing his lips against him. Cas squirmed and laughed softly. "Dean, stop we'll get caught," he hushed. Dean laughed into him and pulled away.

"Sorry," he said lazily, "I'll come by your room tonight and we can talk." Cas nodded and watched as Dean walked back into the main hall then followed.

•••

After the lights turned off and every patient had been sent back to their rooms, Dean stayed behind while Sam and Adam went home. He made his way down the hall and checked on each room, making sure they were all asleep before he slid into Cas' room.

Cas stood by his bed and turned around as he heard him enter. Dean shut the door quietly behind him. He glanced around at room and stopped when his eyes reached Cas. He smirked, walked up to him and kissed him softly as he placed a hand on the back of his neck. Cas smiled into him and gripped onto the sides Dean's shirt, pulling him closer into his body.

Dean parted his lips as they kissed and ran his fingers through his hair, curling them in the deeper they kissed. Cas pulled away and Dean lingered, searching for him. He tried to pull Cas back in and he laughed softly.

"Dean," Cas hushed. Dean inhaled deeply before opening his eyes and looking at him drowsily.

"Why'd you have to stop?" He murmured. Cas curled his fingers into his shirt and tugged at it playfully.

Dean sighed and let his hand fall onto the back of Cas' neck. "I guess I'll just keep going until you figure it out," he said and pulled him in, slowly kissing him.

Cas fluttered his eyes closed and melted into him, running his hands up Dean's shirt and pushing it off his shoulders.

Dean laughed into him and pulled away. "Cas," he breathed, "slow down." Cas swallowed and nodded.

"Sorry," he breathed. Dean smiled and shrugged his shirt back on.

"What did you wanna tell me?" He asked.

Cas turned around to his bed side, shoved a hand under his mattress and pulled out a file of papers. Dean's eyes widened at the sight of it.

"Cas, you're not supposed to have that," he said holding back his anger. Cas shrugged.

"I know, but look, read it," he said and handed the file to him.  
Dean stared at him as he flipped open the file. He glanced down at it and read over each section, not seeing anything different until he reached the "Mental Condition" section. His eyes skimmed over it and his brows furrowed. He cleared his throat and read out loud.

"The patient, Castiel Novak, has been placed into this facility due to his unstable mentality," he paused and glanced up at Cas who stood in front of him with a soft smile.

Dean clenched his jaw and closed the file. "Cas," he hissed.

Cas reached out and pulled Dean towards him by his shirt, pressing his lips against him. Dean sighed into him and turned away.

"You shouldn't have taken the file, Cas," he muttered.

"Why?" He asked in an innocent tone. Dean moved away from him and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I could get in trouble for this!" He started softly, "I could get fired, Cas," he hushed. Cas frowned and stepped back into the frame of his bed.

"Dean, I'm"

"What? You're sorry?" He scoffed.

Cas swallowed hard and looked down at the ground.

Dean glanced at him and shook his head. "I'm the one who's supposed to watch out for you. Not the other way around," he said sternly. Cas felt his heart race as he spoke. 

"I just didn't want to leave," he said softly. Dean's brows furrowed and he snapped.

"No one cares that you're broken, Cas!" He hissed. Cas flinched and tensed up as Dean continued. "Clean up your mess!" He said and whipped the file at his feet, making Cas jump back.

Dean shook his head and walked out of the room. Cas stood trembling and sat down on the titled floor. He glanced at his file and felt his stomach drop, now regretting he ever took it.


	6. Chapter 6

_"I thought I was doing the right thing"_

The next morning as the patients lined up for their meds, Dean paced up and down the hall keeping all the patients in line. Meg stood by Ruby as they whispered to each other and pointed at Dean followed by laughter. Dean shot them a cold glance. They rolled their eyes and scoffed at him as he walked by. He glanced at each patient till his eyes met Cas who stood at the far end of the line behind Anna.

Dean inhaled sharply and walked up to them. Anna stood shaking, repeating the same sentence.

"Dean Winchester has been saved," she mumbled under her breath. Dean grinned at her and sighed.

"Don't believe everything you here, Anna" he said and shot a glance at Cas. Anna stopped and looked past Dean with a distant look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she started and looked into his eyes, "The angels aren't talking about you," she muttered. Dean nodded.

"That's more like it," he said, patted her on the shoulder, and walked away.

Cas stepped back as he walked by him, tensing up and hunching his shoulder, trying to make himself look as small as possible so Dean wouldn't talk to him. Dean noticed him obviously and he turned to face him.

He cleared his throat and Cas flinched to the side. "Mr Novak, stand up straight while in line," he ordered.

Cas nodded and did as he said.

Dean's brows furrowed and he sighed. "I said straight. Were you raised in a barn?" He asked and adjusted his posture.

Cas felt his heart beat quicken as Dean touched his shoulders and back. He inhaled sharply through his teeth and swallowed down every feeling he had for him. Dean's fingers grazed over the back of Cas' neck as he helped him stand straight and his breath caught in his throat. Cas felt his hand stop on the back of his neck and he exhaled closing his eyes. Dean pulled his hand away, stuffed it into his pocket and cleared his throat. Cas' eyes snapped open, feeling his heart drop to his stomach, he stood up straight and stared at the back of Anna's head as Dean spoke. "Alright, you're fine." He muttered and moved down the line.

Cas exhaled with relief and move up the line to get his medication. Jo smiled at him. "Good morning, Castiel. Did you sleep well?" She asked him, like she asked every other patient. Cas nodded and glanced down at the pills in her hand. They were two oval shaped small capsules. He never asked what they were for exactly. He just knew he had to take them. Except he never really would swallow them down, because he knew nothing was wrong with him.

Jo turned her hand over and dropped the pills into his hand. Cas tossed them into his mouth and pushed them behind his teeth. "Open up," Jo said. He opened his mouth and moved his tongue to each side so she could check. She smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "You're good. Next," she said and Cas walked away, spitting out the pills into his hand and storing them in his pocket. He looked around the room for someone to talk to.

Anna was standing by the old piano they kept locked up. Cas didn't know why and he didn't bother to ask. Crowley and Gabriel sat on the couch fighting over the remote control. Cas could faintly hear their argument.

"I need to watch Girls! Give me the bloody remote!" Crowley hissed.

"Too bad old man, Downton Abbey is on and I'm not gonna miss it!" Gabriel hissed back.

Cas didn't know anything about television. He wasn't allowed to watch anything at home. His dad wouldn't let him. He'd say "if you put one finger on that TV you'll be dead before you hit the ground" and Cas knew he wasn't joking around. He shook his head, clearing the thought and look around the room again.

Chuck sat by the window, in his old worn out robe with a cup in his hands. Cas never noticed him much, he seemed almost normal. Cas made his way over to him and sat across from him. Chuck glanced up at him and smiled softly.

"You're Castiel, right?" He asked. Cas nodded.

"It's nice to meet you," he started, "how do you like it here?" He asked. Cas shrugged.

"It's not so bad. I think I'm gonna like it here," he said. Chuck nodded and raised his cup to his lips, taking a sip. "How come you get to have your own drink?" He asked. Chuck lowered his cup and exhaled. 

"I'm the oldest out of all the patients. Oldest as in, I've been here the longest, so I get luxuries," he took another sip, "Also, I follow the rules. Unlike the rest of you," he said. Cas cocked his head back. 

"I haven't broken any rules," he lied. Chuck scoffed at him. 

"Sure, you haven't." Cas furrowed his brows, thinking about all those nights he spent with Dean. 

"It was nice talking to you, Chuck," he said. Chuck nodded once and sighed tiredly. 

"Yeah, you too."

Cas glanced around the room and saw Meg and Ruby standing by Crowley and Gabriel, whispering and pointing at him. He raised his brows and he walked up to them.

"Pointing's rude," he said. Meg scoffed and Ruby grinned.

"We're sorry," Ruby started, "I was just telling Meg how cute I think you are." Cas felt his throat close up and he coughed.

"Oh," he muttered. Meg grinned, placed a hand on his chest and moved into him.

"How about we go to my room?" She asked under her breath. Cas scoffed, placed his hand over hers and lowered it to her side.

"We can't do that," he said. Ruby groaned.

"Stop being such a goody goody."

Meg snickered and tugged at his shirt, pulling herself into him. She ran a finger over his mouth, glanced up at him through her lashes and pulled him down, kissing him hard.

Dean came down the hall around this time and he caught the exact moment Meg kissed him. He stumbled back, feeling his heart give out, he inhaled sharply and shouted.

"Hey!" He ran up to them. 

Meg pulled away and shoved Cas to the side. He stumbled back flustered. "Both of you!" He shouted. "Solitary!" Cas' eyes widened.

"What? I didn't–she kissed me! I was just–"

"I could care less who kissed who!" Dean interrupted, shooting him a cold stare, "Both of you are spending time in solitary until lights out!" Meg scoffed.

"Do we get the same room at least?" She asked. Dean rolled his eyes and grabbed her.

"Don't flatter yourself," he said and pulled her down the hall. Cas stood beside Ruby, flustered and scared.

"What do they do in solitary?" He asked. Ruby shrugged.

"Different stuff for different patients," she glanced at him as Dean shouted.

"Sam grab Castiel!" Ruby bit her lip.

"Good luck," she said, shoved him forward as Sam walked up to them and took him away.

Cas tried shoving Sam off him, pulling and twisting his arm. "Let me go!" He choked. Sam groaned and tossed him into a room filled with white padded walls. Cas spun around and walked backwards away from him.

"I thought you were nice, Sam," he begged. Sam sighed, holding the door.

"Look, all you have to do is sit in here for a few hours. That's all. I'm sorry," he said softly. Cas shook his head.

"You can't just leave in here!" He pleaded. Sam smirked and closed the door. Cas heard the door lock and he turned around. Side stepping around the room he felt his breath stop in his chest and heard his dad's voice echo through his head.

"Stop squirming and get in there!" He'd shout, shoving Cas into the closet and slamming the door. Cas kicked and knocked against the door screaming.

"Let me out! Please! I'm sorry!" He'd keep a chair against the door, locking him in. Cas would claw at the door until his nails bled or until he tired himself out from screaming and crying. 

Cas' eyes swelled up and he stumbled towards he door. Falling against the door, he banged his fist against it. "Please! Let me out! Let me out!" He cried, his voice caught in his throat. "Get me out of here! Please!" He pleaded. Dean stood beside the door, arms folded over his chest, cringing at every bang and cry Cas gave. He felt a pit form in his stomach and he sniffed, holding in the pain and guilt. Cas sobbed against the door.

"Dean. Please," he whimpered, scratching at the door. Dean exhaled, slid down the wall and covered his mouth with his hands. He closed his eyes and buried his face into his knees.

"I'm sorry," he muffled into his knees as he listened to Cas sobbing and whimpering against the door.


	7. Chapter 7

_"I said I'm sorry. I meant it."_

Dean shuffled up to Cas' door, rolled his shoulders back and knocked twice on the door. He stared at the ground as he waited for Cas to answer the door. If he was going to answer, after all he did throw him into solitary and he didn't expect Cas to ever forgive him for that. The door opened and Cas poked his head out. He glanced up at Dean and sighed.

"Did you come to torture me some more? Or was throwing me in solitary for eight hours enough?" He asked.

Dean's stomach turned and he inhaled sharply as his eyes searched Cas'.

"If we could just–"

"No"

"If you would just let me–"

"Dean I said–"

"Cas, please!" He hissed.

"Please, let me try to fix this," he pleaded with soulful eyes.

Cas sighed. He could feel Dean's warmth, smell his sent. His stomach turned and he bit his lip, knowing he'd regret this.

"Fine," he said, stepped aside and opened the door, letting Dean in. Dean smirked at him and stepped into his room.

"Nice place," he teased.

Cas closed the door and turned around to face him. Dean turned and walked backwards into the bed frame. Dean glanced at him and all he could do was replay him and Meg kissing. It made his stomach drop and he cleared his throat.

"Look, I uh, I shouldn't have done what I did," he said. Cas nodded.

"Is that all?" He asked. Dean furrowed his brows and shifted his weight.

"Excuse me?" Cas smirked and shook his head.

"That wasn't much of an apology," he scoffed. Dean pursed his lips, thinking about Cas' cries and pleads from solitary.

"I was there, Cas," he said. Cas cocked his head to the side.

"What?"

"I heard you crying, pleading, banging, scratching, shouting." He started, "I sat there for two hours, listening to you and I–" his voice broke, "I couldn't do anything about it. I had to listen to you in pain and I prayed for you to stop crying, to stop saying my name," his voice trailed off and he wiped a hand over his eyes. A chill ran down Cas' back and he stood staring at Dean. Speechless. Dean swallowed and broke into a soft laugh.

"I don't expect you to forgive me, but I'm sorry," he said, "If I could go back I'd make a different call," he said staring at the ground. He couldn't stand to look at him, not now. He felt too much guilt and shame. He couldn't possibly face him. Cas inhaled sharply and walked up to him.

"Dean," he purred, pawing at his shirt and tugging at the collars. Dean turned his head away knowing he didn't deserve him.

"Don't," he hissed. "Don't." Cas leaned into his neck.

"Why?" He breathed onto him. Dean exhaled and bit his lip.

"We can't," he said pushing him away and clearing his throat. "I can't," he hushed. Cas clenched his jaw.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," He said slowly. Dean glanced up at him through his lashes.

"I can't get it out of my head, Cas. I can't," his voice low and quiet. Cas shuffled closer to him.

"She kissed me," he hissed. Dean scoffed. "It all happened so fast. You wouldn't–I tried telling you, but you wouldn't listen," he rambled.

Dean swallowed hard and placed his hand on the side of Cas' neck as he kept talking. He trailed it down, slowly feeling every bump on his skin and inhaled deeply. He felt his heart beat grow faster the longer his hand lingered on him. Dean grinned lightly.

"Will you shut up," he hushed. Cas glanced up at him and swallowed hard.

"Sorry," he apologised. Dean shook his head and leaned into him.

"Stop apologising," he breathed.

"Sorry," he bit his lip. Dean chuckled, kissed him softly and pulled away.

"I said stop apologising."

Cas cleared his throat, flustered. His breath came out short and slow before he found his words.

"I fixed the file," he said. Dean shook his head.

"I don't care about the file," he said. Cas walked away from him, towards the small night stand beside his bed and kneeled down.

"I changed it back to its original format," he said reaching under his mattress.

Dean stuffed his left hand into his pant pocket and exhaled. Cas pulled out the file, pushed himself off the ground, onto his feet and walked back to Dean, who stared down at the file in his hands. Knowing that if Ellen ever found the file, Cas would be kicked back to his family and pain filled his expression. He pushed the file away, lowering it. Cas frowned and shoved it back into him.

"Take it," he said. Dean shook his head with a dead stare.

"No," his voice flat. Cas stepped back and clutched the file in his hands.

"Why not?" He asked with a subtle head tilt. Dean glanced up at him through his lashes and sighed.

"You know why, Cas," he said, tired.

"If I have to leave then I'll leave, but–"

"Don't talk like that," he interrupted.

"But, if you don't give this back you can get in trouble. So please, take it," he continued.  
Dean stared at the file in Cas' hand, lingering on the thought of him getting kicked out, unable to see him, to touch him. He inhaled through sharp teeth and moved into Cas, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him closer. Cas dropped the file and placed a hand on Dean's back, steadying himself. Dean licked his lips and leaned down to kiss him.

Cas curled his fingers into the back of Dean's shirt and leaned into him, feeling his lips move softly against his. Cas trailed his arm to the collar of Dean's shirt–already unbuttoned–Cas ran his hand under it, over his shoulder and pushed it off one side. Dean rolled his shoulders back, shaking the shirt off, letting it fall yo his wrists. He dropped his hands off Cas' waist and tugged at the sleeves, trying to pull them off his arms, but they wouldn't come off.

Dean groaned into Cas and he broke into a soft laugh. He pulled away and licked his lips.

"You need help?" He asked breathy. Dean grinned.

"What are we doing?" He asked, fixing his shirt back on.

Cas hooked a finger through Dean's front belt loop and pulled him forward.

"Who cares. Let's keep doing it," he growled, pawing at the button on Dean's jeans. Dean's breath picked up and as much as he wanted this, he knew he couldn't–they couldn't.

"Cas," he said hoarsely and grabbed his hands. Cas frowned distressed.

"Dean, please. Please, I'll make it so good," he murmured. Dean bit his lip.

"God, I know, but we can't. Not yet. Not here," he breathed.

Cas leaned into him slowly and kissed the corner of his mouth. Dean inhaled sharply and grabbed his face in both hands. He pressed their lips together and parted his lips, hooking onto Cas' and kissing him softly. He placed both hands on either side of Cas and curled his fingers into him, digging into his skin. Cas winced and pulled away. Dean gritted his teeth and let his hands fall to his sides.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Cas. Are you okay?" He stammered, reaching out to touch his shoulder.

Cas shrugged him away, now realising Dean could hardly touch him without having pain rush through every part of his body.

"Cas?" Dean breathed distressed.

"No," he said, "you should go." Dean's brows furrowed in confusion.

"No, wait. I said I'm sorry, don't do this," he pleaded. Cas shook his head.

"Just, please go," he said.

Dean sighed and picked up the file on the floor. He turned towards the door and glanced down at the file. He knew if Jo re-read the file, she'd have to tell Ellen and Cas would have to leave. No matter what he did or said. She'd pull him out of the system and he'd never see him again.

He clutched the file in his hand and gnawed on the inside of his cheek and turned around. He walked up to Cas, carefully wrapped his arm around his waist, titled his head, and hooked their lips together. Cas breathed him in, feeling his lips move slowly over his and melted in his arms. He pulled away and rested his forehead against Dean's.

"You should really go," he breathed. Dean rubbed his back softly and nodded, letting his hand fall. He stepped back, cleared his throat, and waved the file up and down.

"You know after I give this back–" 

Cas nodded.

"I know," he said before Dean could finish. He nodded back knowing he understood and turned towards the door.

As the door closed behind him Cas stood staring at the empty space by the door. He hoped that Jo wouldn't bother to read over his file again and that he could stay here, with Dean, but he knew that all too good to wish for. He shook his head clear of his thoughts and got into bed.

Out in the hall, Dean made his way up to Jo's window and stood there for a minute. Pondering the thought of Cas getting kicked out. He bit his lip, looked down at the file in his hand, sighed, and slid it under the window. He slowly walked up to the coat hangers, and picked his leather jacket off, and swung it around himself. He turned to look at the empty room and stared longingly down the hall. He wanted nothing more than to taste Cas' lips on his, and feel his body pressed up against him. He sighed, turned towards the door, and left.


	8. Chapter 8

_"I need you, buddy,"_

Jo's shoes tapped against the pavement as she made her way up the stairs to the psych ward. She reached into her purse, fetched out a key and inserted it into the keyhole. Turning the key, she turned the handle at the same time and pushed the door open. She let it close behind her and shrugged her jacket off and draped it over her arm as she walked to her door.

The patients were being waken up by Sam and Adam as she pushed her door open. Their voices echoed around her as they did every morning. She placed her purse under her desk and caught the file sitting on the window sill. She pushed her brows together and picked it up. Flipping through it she pushed her window open and leaned out.

"Hey, Sam? Did you leave this here?" She asked.

Sam, who was standing by Anna's door, looked over his shoulder and frowned shaking his head.

"No, sorry. Maybe Adam did," he said and turned back to Anna.

Jo nodded.

"Okay," she mumbled as she read over it.

She pulled her chair closer with her foot and sat down. Closing the file she reached for the phone and pushed a button. As she waited for the dial tone she heard the front door open and she glanced up over her desk. Dean walked by and she stood up and waved him over. He curled his lips in and stared down the hall, catching the sight of Casjust as he got out of his room. He turned towards Jo and walked up to her. "Okay, I'll tell him," she said into the receiver and lowered it back onto the base. Dean leaned against the window will with one hand picking at the chipped paint, letting it fall by his feet.

"Its your lucky day, Winchester!" she said. Dean sighed with relief.

"Oh yeah?" He said. Jo nodded.

"You know that new patient?" She asked. Dean tensed back up and nodded.

Jo smiled. "Well, you don't gotta look after him anymore. He's going home tonight." Dean held his breath and tried to crack a smile.

"That's," he paused as Cas walked by, "awesome," he breathed.

Jo nodded.

"There's just one thing," she said slowly.

Dean's brows raised.

"What?"

"You still gotta let him know he's leaving," she said.

Dean's nail dug into the window will and he sighed.

"Great."

Dean turned towards the patients, who had scattered out around the main hall. He found Cas in them, standing by the window along side Chuck. Dean sighed and walked up to him.

"Castiel, can I speak to you for a minute?" He asked.

Cas turned to him and nodded. Chuck smirked and shook his head as they walked away. Dean pulled Cas to the side and let his hand drop. He cleared his throat and looked up at him. 

"You're leaving tonight," he said quietly. 

Cas clenched his jaw and his eyes glazed over. He nodded and looked down. Dean looked around quickly and grabbed his hand, subtly enough that no one could see from where they were standing, and he stroked his thumb over the top of his hand. Cas pulled his hand away from him and walked away down the hall towards his room. Dean closed his eyes and turned his head to the side. When he opened them he met Jo's glance and made his way up to her.

"Jo, you gotta find a way to let him stay," he begged.

She shook her head.

"I can't, Dean. He's gotta go," she said.

Dean sighed.

"Look, you don't have to pay me. I'll just watch over him. Please," he continued.

Jo looked up at him with a perplexed look.

 

"Why do you care so much?" She asked, "you wanted nothing to do with him a couple of days ago." She said looking away.

Dean swallowed hard and shrugged.

"I just know what he's going through."

Jo glanced up at him and sighed.

"I know you wanna help him, but you can't. I'm sorry," she said.

Dean nodded and walked away, down the hall. He bumped into Sam on his way and Sam grabbed his shoulder.

"You don't look good, man," he said. Dean glanced at him and shrugged him off.

"Did you see where Cas went?" He asked. Ignoring his brothers observation.

Sam nodded.

"Yeah, he went back to his room, but, Dean, what's going on?" He asked.

Dean shook his head.

"Nothing," he paused and rubbed the back of his neck with a hand, "I just gotta talk to him about something," he said. Sam scoffed.

"You hardly wanted to talk to him before he even got here. Why the sudden interest in him now?" He asked. Dean rolled his eyes.

"Look, he's getting discharged tonight, so I gotta let him know," he said. Sam sighed.

"Yeah, alright." He moved to the side to make room for Dean to walk down the hall.

"Thank you," he said and walked to Cas' room.  
Cas had the door closed and Dean stood in front of it. His hand itching to burst through the door and grab him, but he stopped himself and bawled his hand into a fist and knocked softly on the door. He heard feet shuffling around, almost like he was pacing and he sighed.

"Cas?" He muttered placing a single finger on the door knob, tapping at it gently. "Come on, I know you're in there," he begged. He heard his feet shuffle and a shadow fall under the door and the door opened. Dean looked up and met his eyes with a soft smile. "Hey, Cas," he breathed. The sides of Cas' mouth turned up a bit and his eyes smiled and Dean felt his body relax. Cas let him in and he closed the door closed behind them.

"So, what time am I leaving?" He asked.

Dean sighed and turned around to face him.

"I, uh, I didn't ask," he paused and shuffled closer to Cas, tugging on his shirt.

"Dean, what are you-"

His words got cut off by the taste of Dean's lips on his and he sighed into him before pulling away and licking his lips. Dean curled his lips in and kept his eyes locked on Cas' bottom lip as he spoke.

"You-you won't be here tonight," he muttered.

Cas swallowed and nodded.

"I know," he chocked.

Dean looked up from his lips to his eyes through his lashes and thought of all the possibilities that await him at home. He pulled him in and hugged him tight. Cas let his eyes close and relaxed into him. Dean sighed.

"I wish I could do something," he started, "you could come stay with me," he pulled away and held onto his shoulders. Cas smirked, "come stay with me. We could do anything we want, Cas," he started pleading and he felt his eyes well up. Cas placed a hand on Dean's chest and felt his heart race under his palm. He smiled. 

"We could sleep in the same bed," he questioned. Dean nodded with a smile.

"Of course, anything you want," He chocked out a laugh.

Cas licked his lips and placed his hand under Dean's chin, his thumb grazed over his bottom lip and Dean pursed his lips and grabbed his hand, kissing his thumb and trailing up his arm. Cas chuckled and soon enough he had Dean's taste in his mouth again. Their lips moved together slowly and gently. Dean held Cas around his waist and tugged on his shirt, pulling him closer into him as Cas let his hand fall from under his chin, down to his chest, curling his fingers into his shirt.

They melted into each other and both reached for the other's pant buckle at the same time. Dean breathed a soft laugh into Cas' lips as they fondled with each others buttons and Cas got Dean's undone. As he was about to pull the zipper down the door swung open and Sam walked in.

They pushed each other away and Dean curled his lips in. Still tasting Cas on them. Thankgod he thought. Sam's face was full of shock and he swallowed hard before closing the door behind him.

"Alright, I know this looks bad, but-"

"Bad? This–you can get fired, Dean!" He hissed.

Dean nodded.

"Alright, it looks really bad, but hear me–hear us out," he begged, "we're not–I'm not fooling around with a patient here, Sam. I–"

"You sure about that, Dean?" 

"Sam," Cas interrupted, "please, it's my last day, and I can't do this without him. I can't." He sounded desperate.

A smile tugged at the corner of Dean's mouth and he reached his hand out to grab Cas'. Sam sighed as he saw their fingers intertwine, and watched as Dean's thumb rubbed the back of Cas' hand. He glanced up at his brother, who had his eyes fixed on Cas, and his expression had fallen from the sarcastic, and funny brother he knew for years, to a desperate look of pure want, and need. Sam pushed his brows together.

"I've never seen you look at someone like that before," Sam mumbled. Dean glanced at him then back at Cas and Cas blushed.

"Guess I never found the right person before him, Sammy," he said.

Sam's face softened and he nodded.

Cas glanced up at him and gave him a quick smile then looked away. Sam quickly remembered.

"Oh! God, the–when I threw you in solitary, that was–I was just–"

"It's okay, Sam. That was my call. Don't apologise for it," Dean said cutting him off and squeezing Cas' hand to reassure him.

Cas nodded in agreement. 

Sam glanced at their hands and scoffed.

"Uh, if you guys want me to act like there's nothing going on, then you gotta act like there's nothing going on," he said pointing to their hands.

Dean and Cas both looked down at their hands locked together and Dean felt Cas squeeze his tighter. He rubbed the back of Cas' hand with his thumb one last time and pulled him closer and kissed his temple. Sam grinned and reached back for the door knob just as the door opened and hit his back. He jumped forward and let the door push forward.

Jo walked in, glanced up from the file she had been holding and froze. Sam closed his eyes and tilted his head back, hitting it against the door.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" She hissed at them. Dean stepped in front of Cas and held up his hands in front of him.

"Jo, hear me out," he begged.

"Oh yeah, I'd love to hear this!" She shouted. Cas reach a hand up and gripped onto the back of Dean's shirt.

"Jo, just calm down, please," Dean said feeling Cas shake behind him.

Jo crossed her arms over her chest and sighed, waiting for Dean to explain. "I'm not just fooling around with him," he started. Jo scoffed.

"Yeah, like I'd believe that." Dean clenched his jaw.

"I care about him, alright?" He snapped. Everyone looked at him in silence and Sam walked over to Jo.

"Look, they're not hurting anyone, just let them be." Jo shook her head.

"I can't. I can't, I gotta call this in," she said and turned to leave. Sam grabbed her arm, but she pulled away from him and opened the door.

"Jo, wait!" He yelled after her and closed the door behind him. 

Dean felt his heart jump into his throat and he turned to Cas and held onto his shoulders. Cas frowned and held him up.

"Dean?" He asked. Dean placed a hand on his chest and tried to breathe in, but he felt like he couldn't.

Cas' eyes darted over his face and his hand wandered over Dean's on his chest. He felt his heart beat rapidly and his other hand rubbed his arm up and down.

"Dean, hey, look at me," he said holding him steady, "breathe, just breathe, come on," he whispered to him. Dean shook his head.

"Cas, I can't–I can't," he stuttered holding his chest. Cas helped him to the bed and sat him down.

Dean started short breathing and shaking as he sat down and Cas sat down beside him and rubbed his back to calm him down.

"You have to breathe, Dean, please," he said softly. Dean shook his head and felt tears fill his eyes.

"I can't lose this–lose you," he chocked.

"Shh, I'm here, I'm right here," he assured him.

Dean grabbed onto his arm and rubbed it up and down, reassuring himself that he was there.

"Don't–you can't–I can't lose you," he sobbed, intertwining their fingers together.  
Cas placed his other hand on the other side of Dean's face, pushing it towards him and kissing his cheek, trailing to the corner of his lips and Dean turned to him and softly moved his lips against Cas'. Cas felt Dean's lips quiver as they kissed and he pulled away. Dean leaned forward and Cas turned away.

"Dean, you're not–we can't," he said. Dean frowned.

"You won't be taking advantage of me, Cas," he assured him. Cas sighed.

"You're looking for a distraction," he paused and looked down at their hands. "you're still shaking." Dean detangled their fingers, and held his hand out in mid air as it shook. His breathing had subsided along with his heart beat and he let his hand drop onto his lap.

"This shouldn't be so hard," he groaned. Cas nodded.

"I know," he said. Dean turned to him and studied every inch of his features. From the way the sides if his eyes crinkled up when he smiled to the way one corner of his mouth turned up when he said certain words.

"Cas," he breathed.

Cas reached for his hand and squeezed it. Dean smiled softly at him and blinked away just as Sam came back. Dean and Cas glanced up at him and saw his expression soften.

"She called his family," he started, "they're coming to get him." Cas nodded and felt Dean's hand shake in his. Dean nodded and inhaled through gritted teeth.

"Well, alright then," he mumbled and untangled his hand from Cas, "I should go." He got up and stumbled back towards the door.

"Dean, you don't have to," Cas said reaching out to him. Dean shook his head.

"No, I do," he said.

"Why?" He asked confused. Dean sighed.

"I can't watch you leave," he said, pain filling his voice, "I won't." Cas scoffed.

"So, I have to watch youleave?" He asked, perplexed. Dean turned to him and cleared his throat.

"You're the one leaving, Cas,"

"Guys," Sam muttered, but they ignored him.

"And now I'm going to lose my job," he paused to swallow down the lump in his throat. "I can't sit and watch everything crumble down around me, man. I can't do it." Cas clenched his jaw and swallowed hard.

"Please leave," he muttered. Dean sighed softly and turned away towards the door.

"Come on, Sam," he said. Sam grabbed the door open and followed Dean out. He looked back at Cas and pulled the door closed behind them.

"Dean, what the hell's your problem?" He hissed. Dean rolled his eyes and kept walking.

"Just leave me alone, Sam," he said.

"I don't get you man," Sam said and walked in front of him. Dean stopped walking.

"What?"

"You don't wanna be alone, yet you push people away?" He questioned.

"Get out of my way, Sam," he said passively. Sam scoffed and moved to the side, throwing his hands up.

"Unbelievable," he mumbled. Dean pushed past him and grabbed his coat off the hanger and walked out of the ward.


	9. Chapter 9

_"I did it all for you,"_

When Dean got back to the ward he stood at the front doors with one hand in the door handle and he knew that the minute he'd walk through the door he'd have to turn back. He took a deep breath in and exhaled as he opened the door. He walked up to Jo's window and knocked at her window. She pushed the window open and kept her head down as she spoke.

"Your boy toy left an hour ago," she said in an almost monotone voice.

Dean swallowed the knot in his throat, forced a smile and nodded.

"Awesome," he breathed then cleared his throat, "so, how long is Ellen giving me?" He asked. Jo glanced up at him and sighed.

"Till now," she said.

Dean's grin faded into a flat line and he swallowed hard.

"Alright, guess I won't be seeing you then," he said in a cold tone. Jo nodded.

"See ya, Winchester," she said and closed her window.

Dean stared far passed her, his eyes almost lifeless and his body felt limp and paralysed. He tried to move his feet but they felt too heavy for him to drag across the floor. He sighed and closed his eyes. Images of Cas played over behind his eyes and his head felt heavy. 

"Dean?" Sam nudged him.

Dean snapped his eyes open and looked up at Sam standing in front of him.

"Sam, hey," he said almost too quiet for him to hear.

"Go home and rest," he said concerned. Dean nodded.

"Yeah, yeah okay," his voice low and quiet.

"I know you're worried about him, but he'll be fine, trust me," he said trying to reassure him.

Dean exhaled and turned away from him, waving a hand in the air.

"Whatever, I'll see you later," he moaned and walked out of the ward.


	10. Chapter 10

"I remember you. I remember everything,"

 

_One year later_

Dean sat in a plain white T-shirt and plaid boxers in his apartment. It was mid June and his air-conditioning had broke last month—he never bothered to get it fixed. He sat on the couch with his feet up on the round coffee table in front of him and his eyes fixed on the TV screen.

 _Game of Thrones_ was the only thing he'd been watching for the past year. He'd leave it on repeat so much, that he'd speak along with the characters. He'd groan whenever Joffrey came on screen, throwing wrappers and beer cans at the screen. Although, seeing Daenerys usually made up for it. Dean's hand held a can of beer in one hand, his index finger picked at the opener on top and he sighed.

The past year he had lost not only lost his job and Castiel–which he wouldn't admit to anyone that he still missed–he lost Benny; his best friend. Sam had tried to pull Dean out of the house long enough to go to Benny's funeral, but Dean couldn't bare to see him like that. Now, every Sunday he goes by his grave and talks to him, tells him how sorry he is for not showing up, how much he wish he could bring him back, but he know he can't and that's how far he gets before hitting his breaking point.

A knock came softly from his front door and he snapped back to reality. He cleared his throat and got up, limping on his good leg. One had gone numb. The knock got louder and more eager and Dean groaned. "It's almost midnight!" He reached for the door handle and pulled the door open. "What do you want?" He sneered and looked up.

It was his smile, the way it curled up at the sides of his face, making the room and everything in the room brighter than it was before. Dean knew he had to have been holding his breath for over a minute, because he could feel the room spinning. A hand reached out and nudged him.

"Dean."

Dean's eyes glanced up at him and he exhaled. "Cas?" Cas' face filled with colour and he nodded.

"Yeah, it's me," he said softly. Dean reached out placing his palm flat on his chest, feeling his heart beat race underneath he let his hand curl up and tug at his shirt.

"You're–you're–how are you–" he exhaled again still not sure what to say. Cas wrapped his hand around Dean's arm and rubbed it up at down.

"I'm good. I've missed you," his voice faltering at the end. Dean's brows pushed together in distress and nodded.

"Me too–I've missed you too," he said. "Come in," he continued pushing back the door and moving to the side.

Cas smiled and stepped onto the wooden floors, making it creek and moan.

Dean lead him to the couch and sat down beside him.

"How did you even–"

"Your brother," he cut him off. Dean scoffed.

"I don't believe it," he paused, "but why after so long?" He asked. Cas sighed.

"A few months after I had gotten back home the beatings, they just got worse and worse. I couldn't take it anymore, so I got a job, saved up enough money to rent a small place out here and left," he said chewing on the corner of his lip.

Dean's brows creased in regret and he leaned forward kissing him softly and pulled away. Cas felt his eyes well up and he swallowed down hard to hold them back as he spoke.

"It was hard, you know, getting away. They wouldn't let me at first, Dean. They didn't let me out of the house, out of my room," his voice cracked. Dean ran a hand up and down his back and hushed him as he kept talking. "I'm sorry it took so long, I would've–I would've been here earlier. I just–I couldn't."

Now Dean's eyes teared up and he swallowed it down as he pulled him against his chest. Embracing him tightly and rubbing his back as he kissed the side of his face repeatedly.

"Its okay, its okay, don't apologise, okay? You're here. You're here, that's all that matters now." Cas nodded.

He had his arms under Dean's underarms and he clutched the back of his shirt tight. His face was buried into his shirt and he smelled just as he remembered. His lips floated over his neck as he breathed softly against him. Dean felt his neck warm up and breathed in sharply through gritted teeth. Cas' hands relaxed on Dean's back and he pushed him down onto the couch and lay over him, his mouth pressed up to his ear.

"Take your clothes off," he hissed.

Dean let out a sharp laugh.

"Cas." He chuckled.

Cas grazed his lips across his jaw and up to his mouth.

"Take 'em off," he breathed as he slid a hand down Dean's pants, stroking the head of his penis with the palm of his hand.

Dean squirmed under him and slid his hand down to meet Cas'. He pushed Cas' hand down to wrap around his shaft and stroked his hand along it. Cas grinned down at his mouth gaped open and pressed himself down into him. Their lips locking like two puzzle pieces. Perfectly.

Cas met and parted his lips mutually to Dean's and Dean softly moaned his name which made him crumble on top of him. Cas pulled off his mouth and straddling him, Dean pulled his hand out of his pants and curled his fingers over the bottom of his own shirt, pulling it off over his head and hitting the lamp behind him. Cas put his free hand over his mouth and his eyes widened as he watched the lamp tumble over and off the table. Dean tossed his shirt to the side and bit his lip.

"Its okay," he breathed, pawing at Cas' jeans. "I'll buy a new one. Take off your pants."

Cas chuckled softly and gave off one last stroke before pulling his hand out and fumbling with the button on his jeans. Getting them undone he unzipped pushed them, along with his boxers, down to his ankles and sat over Dean again. His penis stood erected and Dean reached for it, wrapping his hand around and stroked him up and down. Cas exhaled and licked his lips looking down he could feel Dean harden under him and he started to grind hard into him. Dean groaned and bucked his hips forward. Cas placed both hands one either side of Dean's waist, curled his fingers into his jeans and yanked down on them. He pulled them down to his ankles and Dean kicked them off.

Straddled over him, Cas wrapped his hand around both of their penises and stroked them against each other. Dean bit his lip, and Cas could tell he was trying to keep from moaning. He leaned down and trialed his lips over Dean's bare chest. He could feel the warmth of his body seep into his lips and Dean–the roughness of his lips sliding up to his neck. He tilted his head back into the arm of the couch as Cas kissed over his Adam's apple and up to his chin.

"Hey, Cas," he breathed almost too quiet to hear. Cas nipped at the corner of his mouth.

"Hmm," he purred. Dean's breathing had gotten heavier and it was almost impossible for him to speak without his words getting caught in his throat.

"You ever– _ah_ –" his breath hitched as Cas' fingers ran over the head of his penis. He licked his lips and swallowed, trying to regain his thought. "You ever think about–about this–this before?" He tried in short spurts.

"All the time," he whispered heavily. Dean bit his lip and his hips bucked forward again and Cas thrusted downwards at the same time.

"Is–was this what you–" he broke off into short spurts of moans and Cas met his lips. Dean felt light headed and dizzy as their lips met. Unable to breathe, he exhaled into him and moaned. Cas pulled away catching his breath and let his palm rub over the top of Dean's penis. His eyes fluttered shut and his back arched as he titled his head back. "Fuck–Cas," he hissed. "I've been tryna–tryna tell you something."

Cas placed a hand over Dean's mouth and hushed him. He felt his hand heat up from Dean's breathing and he grinded harder into him, circling his hips. Dean muffled moans into his hand and Cas exhaled heavily along with him. Dean closed his eyes and bit his lip the harder Cas went and he ran a hand down and wrapped it around both shafts. He twisted up and down and Cas moaned softly over him. He stroked harder and faster picking up a rhythm that made Cas' hips buck.

" _Dean_ ," he whined.

"Hmm," he purred into the hand, still covering his mouth. Cas wet his lips and let his hand fall off Dean's mouth and onto his shoulder. He curled his nails into him as his hips rolled forward in short bucks, climaxing over him, spilling cum over Dean's stomach. Dean followed, bucking his hips up and arching his back. His breath hissed out through clenched teeth and his body relaxed back down onto the couch. Cas' chest heaved over Dean and he reached for the tissue box that stood in the side table behind them. Dean's eyes followed him as he plucked a tissue free and used it to wipe up his stomach and placed the tissue to the side. Dean sighed with a smile and Cas leaned down pressing their lips together softly. Dean titled up, hooking onto his bottom lip and humming into him. Cas pulled away and rested his head on his chest near his neck and Dean ran a hand up his back and kissed the top of his head.

"Promise me something," his voice raspy. Cas nodded.

"Anything." Dean traced his spine with a finger, seeing bruises, scars, and marks his family had left him. He traced around one, well healed, but still visible scar that stretched diagonally from his shoulder blade to the top of his spine. Cas shifter to the side, and the scar vanished into the back of the couch. "Dean?" Dean's eyes fluttered to his face and he forced a soft smile.

"Stay here. Stay with me," he said desperately not wanting him to go back. His brows pushed forward and he nodded. 

"We can sleep in the same bed," he muttered. Dean chuckled softly.

"Anything you want, Cas." Cas smiled and tilted his head back down onto Dean's chest and shuffled into him and letting his eyes slowly close. Dean ran a hand through Cas' hair and twirled his fingers through it as he hummed _Stairway to Heaven_. Cas sighed.

"Dean," he mumbled.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you," he slurred as he started to drift off.

Dean hushed him softly and started humming again. His fingers tangled in his hair and their bodies stuck together. He let his eyes fall closed and he sighed as his body relaxed and fell limb. He felt Cas pushed his hand under him and wrap himself tightly around him. He let his other hand come up and rest on the back of Cas and he held him tightly as they slowly drifted off.


End file.
